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Zumbador, 2 dni temu

@neuralex @cvwillegen @actuallyautistic

Lots of complicated stuff around pain an neurodivergent people. There's that thing where light touch is nearly unbearable, but a broken bone doesn't really register as serious pain for many ND people ?

I remember telling a doctor that my dislocated toe was 0 on the scale because right at that moment, when nobody was touching it, it didn't hurt.

He was so profoundly baffled.

Zumbador, 2 dni temu

@PatternChaser @StephAnne @actuallyautistic

It's a tricky question to answer as it depends very much where you are in the world, and also how you got your diagnosis (to what extent you can keep it private)

Disabled people, including autistic people, get DNR (do not resuscitate) notices on their medical files.

There can be legal consequences if there's a custody dispute about your children, or if you want to adopt a child.

It can affect your ability to get gender affirming healthcare as a trans person.

Doctors often stop listening to you if they see you have an autism diagnosis, even if they knew you well before that revelation.

These depend very much on where you are in the world and how you got diagnosed.

Zumbador, 2 dni temu

@Pathfinder @actuallyautistic

" It is the realisation of being autistic that counts, not the path to it."

Exactly! Well said.

Zumbador, 3 dni temu

@ScottSoCal @Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic
My husband and I have a similar dynamic when it comes to making decisions.
I'm pretty decisive. He's not. It creates problems!
I think my husband finds the unknown factors in making decisions really difficult to handle. I have an easier time going "Oh, well, I've got as much data as I'm going to get so I'm just going to take a chance now."

Zumbador, 4 dni temu

@autism101 @actuallyautistic

I have severe anxiety but because of alexithymia and poor interoception I only realised that when I was 50.

I'm reluctant to say that meds didn't help me.

I took Lexamil for a while and it reduced my anxiety, but with such bad side effects I had to stop. It made me lethargic and brain foggy.

I still think it's worth it, as I was deep in a very bad anxiety state and I'm not sure I would have been able to get out without the meds.

I tried other meds (Venlafaxine & Fluoxetine) but they had very odd effects my psychiatrist couldn't explain & didn't help.

Realising that I'm autistic, and learning how to look after myself, as well as good therapy by a neurodivergent affirming therapist has helped me so much.

I'm off all meds now for 2 months and I'm feeling OK for the first time in years.

Accepting my autistic needs has been crucial to managing anxiety.

#ActuallyAutistic

Zumbador, 7 dni temu

@neuralex @chin @actuallyautistic

This article isn't specifically about theory of mind, but it's a good overall look at autism and empathy

How autism may affect sympathy and empathy https://www.verywellhealth.com/do-people-with-autism-lack-empathy-259887

This article deals with autism and theory of mind and it's complicated!
https://www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/theory-of-mind-in-autism-a-research-field-reborn/

Zumbador, 8 dni temu

@ssb @actuallyautistic
I remember reading somewhere that stuttering is pretty common for autistic people. But I don't remember where that was now!

Zumbador, 12 dni temu

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
@actuallyautistics

I'm late realised, and self diagnosed.

I've been learning about all the different experiences that autistic people have.

For example a person who was diagnosed as a child, without their consent, will have had a very different experience from a teenager who is looking for answers but who's parents and doctors won't allow them to get screened for autism because they are "obviously not autistic".

And a person like me, who only realised I'm autistic when I was 50, who has a life of experience and self-knowledge to look back on when figuring out who I am, and autonomy to act on that knowledge, that a teenager just doesn't have.

I think we all wish we had support and understanding of our needs when we were children, but very few (if any?) of us received that, whether or not we were diagnosed.

#ActuallyAutistic

Zumbador, 11 dni temu

@fishidwardrobe @theautisticcoach @Uniflame @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

Keep in mind that these kinds of lists and traits are designed to test children and young people.

Adults can learn these skills.

We develop all kinds of systems to function, sometimes we end up being more efficient than neurotypical people.

But it comes at a cost, right?

Zumbador, 8 dni temu

@autisticbookclub @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

This story, of being diagnosed as a child, but not told about it, is distressingly widespread.

On top of the "hey I'm autistic" realisation, you have to deal with "why didn't they tell me!"

Zumbador, 7 dni temu

@Finch @autisticbookclub @nellie_m @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics Yes, Finch, I agree with you. Many people seem to think "its wrong to pathologise a person" but they think that pathologising means "ascribing a medical, neurological or mental health reason for a person's problems" but the problem with pathologising is actually "believing that a person who has mental health, neurological or medical differences should not have the same autonomy and access to the things they need as anyone else."

Zumbador, 6 dni temu

@Finch @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

I'm still trying to figure this out. I think the thinking goes like this:

"a human being has certain things that they have a right to like [the things that person themselves needs]. Those things are rational, fundamental rights that everyone deserves to have."

"Those aren't things I selfishly demand from society, those are things that society grants me because I'm [Productive? Deserving? Selfless? Virtuous? Talented? Polite? ] "

"But some people want more than these basic things. They have all kinds of demands, and they have the temerity to decide for themselves what their needs are, instead of accepting what society grants them."

"And they have [x label] so they aren't [Productive / Virtuous / Unusually Talented / Likeable / Polite] So how can they go around demanding access to resources? "

In the pathologising model, a person with a label is not fully human, or is a broken human.

Zumbador, 6 dni temu

@Finch @wakame @actuallyautistics

You're quite right. There's a powerful stigma around autism. Sadly, I think that's why many people (understandably, but unfortunately) cling to the Aspergers label, which at least is associated with powerful white men.

Zumbador, 11 dni temu

@whangdoodler @VoxofGod @actuallyautistic @loops @MxAlba @AndHuman

This thing, of it being difficult to diagnose a person because CPTSD looks so much like autism, really doesn't make sense to me.

Autism is defined as a cluster of traits.

As people here have pointed out, being autistic is traumatising so many or most? Autistic people have CPTSD.

As far as I know, the effective treatment and therapy for Autism and CPTSD are identical.

So what's the hesitation in diagnosing someone as autistic, if they have autistic traits?

Zumbador, 11 dni temu

@MxAlba @whangdoodler @VoxofGod @actuallyautistic @loops @AndHuman

Re symptoms that "look alike" you're correct, I express myself clumsily.
I still don't understand why a person would be denied an autism diagnosis because they might have CPTSD.

Apart from the fact that they might have both, CPTSD caused by being autistic.

And that many autistic traits actually are trauma symptoms.

Why would the professional doing the diagnosis hesitate to diagnose a person with autistic traits, as autistic, because they might only have CPTSD?

Is there a difference in effective treatment and management between autism and CPTSD ? As far as I know there isn't. Autism is managed effectively through managing the trauma.

What am I missing?

Zumbador, 11 dni temu

@AndHuman @whangdoodler @VoxofGod @actuallyautistic @loops @MxAlba

Thanks And Human, that makes a lot of sense, then, not to diagnose a person who has only CPTSD traits as autism.

But I've heard multiple people with all the autism traits, say they could not be diagnosed because it "might be CPTSD".

There are overlaps, but the ven diagram is not a complete circle, right?

So why is the fact that there is an overlap prevent diagnosis, when the autistic traits are there?

Zumbador, 11 dni temu

@AndHuman @actuallyautistic

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. With CPTSD of all things. You have to be strong to self advocate like that, and if you're already struggling with trauma! It's so unfortunate that this happens to people.

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@TheAutisticTooter @actuallyautistic

There's a term for this! It's called "mirror synesthesia" , basically, feeling other people's pain or experiencing a bodily sensation when you see somebody else getting hurt.

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@PeteLittle1970 @TheAutisticTooter @actuallyautistic
There's an episode of the Neurodivergent Woman podcast where they interview a (I think?) psychiatrist, Autistic, who wanted to be a surgeon.

This was before she'd realised she was autistic, and that she also has quite intense mirror synaesthesia.

She kept fainting during lectures and demonstrations because she felt such intense physical sensations when she saw people being operated on.

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@sentient_water @actuallyautistic

This is the episode of the Neurodivergent Woman that mentions Mirror Touch Synaesthesia

https://omny.fm/shows/the-neurodivergent-woman/disability-with-dr-sarah-bernard

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@Remittancegirl @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

That thing of having to constantly tone down my intensity can be difficult to live with.

It's one of the things I love about being with other ND people, is that I'm unlikely to get that "ick" response from them, and I, in turn, can let them be as intense as they want to be.

Feels good.

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@Remittancegirl @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

I suspect I overestimate my ability to hide my intensity! To be honest, it's only when I see that slightly concerned and confused expression on people's faces that I realise I've done it again.

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@HannahCelsius @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

It's really only one on one, or with maybe very small groups of people (like 2 or 3)that I feel comfortable in this way.

Something I have definitely experienced is ND people who have internalised NT rules and attitudes, and then try to apply them on everyone else in a very rigid way.

And I'm always disappointed to find that ND people can be every bit as tribal and cliquey as anyone else.

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@wakame @actuallyautistic that's an interesting take, thank you

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@Caiotekit @actuallyautistic yes it's difficult when you witness people getting misunderstood but can't do anything about it

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@ScottSoCal @actuallyautistic that is very fair and of course, being blocked is doing that to me, too. Not sure what to do with that information!

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@punkwasp @actuallyautistic yes that's very fair. And my rational mind tells me this. My inner toddler is still processing though!

Zumbador, 14 dni temu

@BZBrainz @actuallyautistic

Yes it's sort of like the opposite of the "click" one sometimes gets with another ND person. When both of your triggers align in such a way that it just feels impossible to communicate.

I find it really frustrating when people react to me as if I'm attacking them when (at worst) I'm probably just being far too pedantic.

Zumbador, 10 dni temu

@punkwasp @actuallyautistic I've been experimenting with visualising my anxiety as a little dragon. It's very grumpy and touchy and is under the impression that it's responsible for protecting me from absolutely everything.

I can acknowledge its alerts, and then tell it "you're being ridiculous, stop digging your claws into me and aaargh you've wrapped your tail around my throat, could you stop that, please?"

And I try to remember that it's still there when I'm cycling or swimming or listening to music, but then it turns into a beautiful, blissed out creature.

I find this more helpful than seeing my anxiety as an enemy. It's well meaning but not very bright, that's all. 😅

Zumbador, 15 dni temu

@payaldhar @actuallyautistics @actuallyautistic

It's remarkably difficult to unravel that particular toxic idea from one's own principles.

I think it begins with simply trying to accept the fact that you are infinitely precious simply because you exist and not because of any utility you have.

Just like a tree, or the ocean, or friendship, or anything else you treasure simply for existing.

Zumbador, 15 dni temu

@actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics

Luna always seemed very autistic to me. Neville too

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@hastyunicorn @actuallyautistic yes I've been wondering about written communication.

Maybe even voice notes might work.

But I think only if there's buy in from everyone. It can be upsetting to get a barrage of texts

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@Stegasaurus @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy Stegasaurus, it's a touchy subject - the "everyone's a bit autistic" thing. So many of us have had that said to us in an invalidating way as in "oh, get over yourself, you're not special." I know you don't mean it that way!

I think that more people are autistic than realise that they are. And its undeniable that many people are realising that they are autistic, who never did before, for all kinds of reasons. But saying that everyone is autistic sucks the meaning and usefulness of the term.

It's like saying that somebody who is selfish is "a narcissist" or somebody who is rather set in their ways is OCD.

Does that make sense?

On the other hand, if you yourself have suspicions that you might be autistic, that's totally valid. That's a whole different thing that you have the right to explore.

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@AutisticMumTo3 @librarianknight @Stegasaurus @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy

@AutisticMumTo3 absolutely. Another aspect is that autistic and other neurodivergent people are often friends with one another. When your family and close friends are mostly ND, it can create a perception that most people are

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@Stegasaurus @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy

"What are the autistic traits" is a really good question! 🙂

First thing to know is the difference between the officially acknowledged traits in the DSM5 and ICD11, and the lived experience of autistic people.

Here are some links that I hope you will find useful.

Overview of what it means to be autistic : https://neuroclastic.com/its-a-spectrum-doesnt-mean-what-you-think/

Reasons why self diagnosis of autism is valid
https://www.autismbc.ca/blog/autistic-adults/reasons-autism-self-diagnosis-is-valid/

How to tell the difference between social anxiety and autism https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/social-anxiety-vs-autism

Demand Avoidance, a trait that some autistic people struggle with https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda-menu/what-is-demand-avoidance/

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria in Autism and ADHD https://neuroclastic.com/living-with-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/

Autistic and ADHD nervous system and stress response: increasing the window of tolerance https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/autistic-adhd-nervous-system

How to deal with autistic imposter syndrome
https://www.spectrumlife.org/blog/autism-imposter-syndrome-826

#ActuallyAutistic

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@ketmorco @AutisticMumTo3 @librarianknight @Stegasaurus @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy @AutisticMumTo3

AKA the "forer" effect yes! It's useful when it comes to understanding yourself.

It's the tendency to think that a vague, but positively framed personality description applies specifically to you. It's why horoscopes and Meyers Briggs are so compelling.

It's unsettling to consider how much the forer effect applies to autistic self diagnosis.

The questions to ask yourself, if you're worried that you're "forering" yourself is how honestly you're looking at the negative and unpleasant aspects of the autistic traits you resonate with.

If those still ring true, it's unlikely that you're really NT and the forer effect is all that's going on.

#ActuallyAutistic

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@FrightenedRat @Stegasaurus @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy
Yes the "spiky profile" is such a useful concept. It rang true immediately and explains so much.

Zumbador, 18 dni temu

@simid @librarianknight @Stegasaurus @AutisticMumTo3 @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy @AutisticMumTo3
Wise words.

One aspect of self-diagnosis that I think a lot of people don't realise, is that the really tricky aspect of autistic diagnosis is that it's the internal experience of traits that defines them.

For example, autistic social difficulties can look exactly like shyness, or anger, or social anxiety, from the outside.

It's only when you know the internal experience that you can know what is really going on.

It takes training and experience to determine that in another person, but you have direct access to your own internal experience.

Zumbador, 17 dni temu

@AutisticMumTo3 @simid @librarianknight @Stegasaurus @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy @AutisticMumTo3

Autistic Mum, while it's true that many autistic people are anxious in social situations, it's not possible to be diagnosed with social anxiety if you're autistic. Autism is an exclusion to having social anxiety in the DSM5.

Which is interesting, right?

I think it points to the fact that the social anxiety experienced by autistic people is fundamentally different in its causes (and more crucially) treatment, than social anxiety in neurotypical people.

Zumbador, 17 dni temu

@Cassandra @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy

🎯 Exactly. I (and my therapist) used to think that I have social anxiety, and then I looked at the criteria for social anxiety on the DSM5.

Nope, that's not me.

Zumbador, 17 dni temu

@hastyunicorn @actuallyautistic @actuallyautistics @autisticadvocacy

Hasty Unicorn, here are some articles, hope they are helpful:

Neurodivergent Insights on social anxiety vs autism
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/misdiagnosis-monday/social-anxiety-or-autism

How to tell the difference between social anxiety and autism https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/social-anxiety-vs-autism